Intentional Leaders Podcast with Cyndi Wentland

Redefining Time Management: Review: 4000 Weeks Time Management for Mortals, By Oliver Burkeman

Cyndi Episode 146

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What if our relentless pursuit of productivity is actually holding us back from a truly fulfilling life? Discover how Oliver Berkman's "4,000 Weeks: Time Management for Mortals" challenges the traditional notions of time management by advocating for a more intentional and meaningful approach to how we spend our finite time on Earth. We dive into transformative ideas that encourage us to let go of the unrealistic quest for perfect productivity and to embrace the power of prioritizing what truly matters. By acknowledging our limitations and accepting the discomfort of incompleteness, we can break free from the stress of never-ending to-do lists and enjoy a more grounded, intentional existence.

Join us as we explore the art of living fully in the present, whether at work or home, and learn how to savor life's simple pleasures. We'll discuss five key concepts from Berkman's book, including the liberation that comes with focusing on the richness of each moment rather than on relentless achievements. Our conversation highlights how endless multitasking can rob us of meaningful experiences and how rethinking time management with intention can lead to a more focused and less stressful life. Tune in to discover how you can prioritize what truly counts in your limited time and foster a more deliberate, satisfying journey.

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Speaker 1:

Hello and welcome to the Intentional Leaders Podcast.

Speaker 1:

In this episode we are going to dive into some of the really thought-provoking concepts from another book that I just read. It's Oliver Berkman's book 4,000 Weeks Time Management for Mortals, and this is based on the fact that the average lifespan is about 4,000 weeks, and this book really challenges all the conventional ideas that we have about time management, productivity and the pressure we feel to make every moment count. We are going to debunk some of those myths today. So I teach time management classes time and stress and I have been for many, many years and there are so many time management tips out there productivity tips, things like that that I've been sharing with people for a long time, and I kind of went from thinking about productivity and time management and more evolved into attention management, because even though we have a certain amount of time, it's really about where we spend our attention and how we spend our attention and how focused we are. And then someone I was coaching told me about a book called 4,000 Weeks. So of course I got it, because pretty much every book that everyone recommends to me I tend to get, but this one I had on my shelf for a long time. And then I read it and I became really fascinated by the concepts, because we tend to approach time and think about this for yourself with an obsession about optimizing all of our time every second, and I think there's a belief that many of us have and I do as well that if we work hard enough we can get everything done and we're going to achieve this perfect life. However, berkman flips that notion on its head. He really encourages us to not just embrace our limitations but recognize that we're never going to have enough time for everything. And isn't that weird. His theory is that true fulfillment comes from intentionally choosing what matters most. So, of course, because he's all about intentionality, I thought, ooh, okay, what does that mean? By the end of this episode, I want you to challenge your thinking about your relationship with time and I'm going to cover five key concepts in the book Because if you think about your relationship with time and how you approach your daily life, if you think about that more intentionally and embrace some new ways of thinking about time and choosing what matters, your life will be more focused, deliberate.

Speaker 1:

But also you'll be choosing to be less stressed, because the number one complaint I tend to hear from leaders, managers and people in class is I just don't have enough time. But you know what Time is a construct. It's a construct to think about what we have available and how we use our time. I want to share with you five different concepts from the book that jumped out at me that I thought were so helpful, and see what is helpful to you. Number one is the finite nature of time, and if we acknowledge our limitations, it's going to free us from the overwhelming to-do list.

Speaker 1:

How many of you like doing to-do lists and I like a good to-do list but how many of you have endless to-do lists and you never really get done everything on your to-do list? And then you judge yourself and feel bad about it. But is it really even realistic to think you're going to get everything done on your to-do list? That's the first fallacy, right? That, oh, we can possibly do everything that is on it, but embracing reality that the time that we have is limited, that the time that we have is limited and that means if we have 4,000 weeks, we're living to 80. But if we think about that, think about it shifting our approach to life. So we believe right now that the myth of infinite productivity, right? We think, oh, if I could just get all this done. And we somehow stress ourselves out with these endless to-do lists and the pressure to accomplish more, rather than accepting that we're limited in what we could do. And think about how liberating that could be. If we truly prioritize what matters the most and we release the burden of trying to always catch up, think about how much anxiety you would let go of. So that's the first. One is embracing that our time on earth is finite. We have limitations and we can't do everything. That shift can help us be more grounded and intentional on what is most meaningful, rather than just chasing productivity, facing productivity, what's the next thing that I can do or not do, that will help me be more productive? The answer is probably nothing, because someone probably would have figured that out by now. Right? First, finite nature of time, acknowledging our limitations.

Speaker 1:

Number two and this was also a really cool concept is letting go of that pursuit of perfect productivity and the unrealistic expectations that we can fit it all in, because think about that, don't you think of that chase that you're going to get? The right system Franklin planners 30 years ago, or now we think of OneNote, or the right system, the right strategy, and then, if we employed that best strategy, we could do everything. But that notion of fitting it in, fitting it all in it's not only unrealistic, it's also counterproductive. Why don't we just let go of that and embrace our imperfection? To know that some things are not going to be done in perfection, to know that some things are not going to be done? And what if we stopped fretting about it? What if we stopped fretting about all the things we didn't do, rather than thinking we should have done them? Just think I didn't get to it and that's okay.

Speaker 1:

A friend and I were just recently talking about traveling, and when I travel somewhere, I feel like I have to get everything done before I leave. I want to leave with the house clean, all the laundry done, the dishes are done, and I think why? And part of it is I think well, what if I die on the trip? And then someone comes into my house and they're going to be like man, she was a hot mess, which isn't going to happen. But that is trying to strive for perfection. To what end? But can we leave things undone and shift that perspective to reduce our stress and make room for the experiences that will bring us more fulfillment. Can we redefine success not by the number of things we've completed, by our engagement in the things that matter most to us? What if I spent that time with my family rather than doing the laundry before I left for a trip? That's probably a higher priority and more valuable to me and to them.

Speaker 1:

Number three is the power of making intentional choices. We focus on the tasks and relationship and goals that matter most and let go of the rest. And this is such a huge theme throughout the book. 4,000 Weeks is the idea that we have to be intentional with our limited time. It means that we consciously choose to devote our energy to the tasks, relationship and goals that align with what we value and care about the most and our dreams, our aspirations. And, ironically, it's narrowing our focus, investing more deeply in those things that lead us to greater satisfaction.

Speaker 1:

Can you let go of some of the things that really don't matter, and I'm talking about work and in life? Can you act selectively and avoid the spread too thin syndrome? Can you cultivate a life that's rich in purpose and fulfillment? We say let's do fewer things but do them better, but many of us don't really believe that because we're still trying to figure out how to get it all done. I bet you can think of some of those things.

Speaker 1:

The fourth one is about embracing that discomfort and not finishing everything, understanding some things are going to be undone. And I think this is one of the hardest truths on our list, right On that to-do list on our life is that you can't do everything. It's not only impossible but it's unnecessary. And I think embracing that particular reality requires us tolerating that discomfort of leaving things incomplete. That's super unsettling. And when you have a need for closure or perfection and to be very honest, I do for both of those things Do I like closure Absolutely? Do I want perfection? Yes, but we have to acknowledge that some projects, some tasks left unfinished can also bring us a sense of peace when we shift that mindset. It allows us to focus our efforts on what truly matters but also come to terms with those limitations. I think this one is probably the one that jumped out to me the most, because this mindset encourages us to be kinder to ourself and recognize that what we choose not to do is absolutely and equally and just as important as what we choose to accomplish, and I'm really leaning into that right now in my life and in my business, choosing to say no is important. Can you do it? Number five is living fully in the present, because right now is all we ever have and making the most of it without trying to optimize it is a noble goal. I got another book that I'm reading from another friend. It's called Rest is Resistance, and I've thought a lot about that and it really focuses on this.

Speaker 1:

Fifth one. Can you let go and just relax and be in the moment without needing to do something? I'm not a good just. I've been focusing on meditation, I've been focusing on resting, I've been focusing on just laying down for five minutes or 10 minutes and allowing myself the luxury of doing that without guilt or judgment, which I wouldn't say that I have mastered by any chance, but I'm certainly working hard on it. Can you do that In a world that is obsessed with optimizing ourselves and everything we do? Can you remind yourself that the only thing we truly have is the power of right now and some of the research about what we do right now is 50% of our time. We focus on the past and the future. We aren't even in the moment, so the only guarantee we have of making the most of our life is experiencing it and not trying to compulsively optimize our routines or our habits or actions for maximum efficiency.

Speaker 1:

Can you fully engage in the present, whether that's talking to people that you enjoy, conversations at work, being creative at work or proactive or planful, or taking initiative to do something that you really want to do? The simple pleasures in our work life or in our home life that we just don't allow ourselves to seek? This perspective doesn't diminish planning, it doesn't diminish ambition, but it reframes them in living mindfully right now and I think that's what is so interesting about this book is that the true richness and satisfaction that we get in life isn't found in how much we can manage to achieve in it, but how fully we inhabit each moment. So, when you think about these five concepts the finite nature of time and acknowledging our limitations rather than our endless to-do list, or, number two, letting go of perfect productivity and thinking our job is to fit it all in Number three, focusing on intentional things, what matters most to you the task, the relationships and the goal Let go of the rest of it, which feeds into number four, which is embracing the discomfort of not finishing everything. I know no closure, imperfection. Can you live with it? And number five is fully living in the present moment, and that is basically all we have in life. So what are you doing right now? Are you multitasking? Are you listening to this podcast and doing something else? And I'm not judging, but what I want you to consider is how often do you not live fully in the moment, that you don't try to optimize your time and do 700 things simultaneously, which, by the way, is bad for your brain?

Speaker 1:

So my thought about this book was I absolutely loved it. It's called Time Management for Mortals on purpose, because most of us are trying to be immortal with how we perceive time and that we're going to fit it all in and that that's our job. No, it isn't. So when you think about these choices for you, what intentional choices can you make this week to focus on what matters most in your 4,000 weeks? And that's something so important to consider? I encourage y'all to go out and get 4,000 Weeks. It's by Oliver Berkman and I loved it. I read it fast. I really concentrated on the key concepts from it, but I promise you it will help you consider how you think about your time and how you think about your life on this planet, and thinking about it with intention. I loved it.